Being ill with MCS is so frightening, but the social and emotional repercussions are as bad or worse.

I think its institutionalized shaming.

   I had a very bad case of MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, Environmental Illness, Chemical Injury, Fragrance ‘allergy’).  I could not be anywhere where people were using chemicals, especially neurotoxic chemicals. That means that I could not be anywhere where people used commercial cleaning products, laundry detergent, shampoo, soap, chemical fragrance (perfume etc) candles, air freshener, car exhaust, plastics, cook with Teflon or Aluminum etc.  That means that I could not go anywhere. For a while, I tried to get people to stop using perfume,  or candles, so that I could be with them and in the world. I found most people just used it as an excuse to insult and shame  me!

 

    Multiple Chemical Sensitivity really showed me many things, one was that so people really are kind of more jerks than I had previously thought. I was trying to stay alive and most people would shame me or say it was a mental problem, or just give a look. I spent countless hours wondering at people’s reactions.

 

I think part of it was the way I said it. You really need to say it so delicately, which is difficult when you are in a health crisis that involves short circuiting of the brain. Some of it is that people somehow are not able to see the other persons point of view. They can’t imagine being made ill by some perfume they had on their jacket from 3 days ago.

Now, I think its because the chemical companies themselves do so much work to make their products seem healthy. Like those Febreeze commercials that want you to spray toxic Febreeze on a pillow to keep the allergens away for the safety of your children. Also Febreeze makes a toxic product backed by the ‘Sleep Foundation’ to make your sleep better. I live in one of the most educated places on the planet, Washington, DC, and 99% of people have never hear of a neurotoxin and still have no idea that their fabric softener is poisoning their body. I really think it”s the industry who has created the ignorance and the SHAME!

 

All of the first Environmental Illness doctors lost their lives, their license and were made a laughing-stock in court as they were sued for being Quacks.  There is a reason there are thousands or millions of people who have MCS or some other chemically induced illness and there are no doctors who will acknowledge it. This knowledge is in lock down and shame is used to keep it there. People with MCS have been systematically shamed so  that the truth about chemical poisoning will stay hidden. It’s all about economics.

 

I am well now, and dont need to talk about chemicals in order to get through a day; but sometimes, now and then, I try to educate people. I still get totally shamed and insulted. Its incredible. I remember one well educated person at my dance studio looking at me when I mentioned ‘neurotoxins’. She just made that disdainful face and said “Neurotoxins?” like I was a freak of nature.  Last week I was at the hospital and some young research team was putting electrodes on my nephews head. They were investigating new technology for monitoring the brain.  I did feel a need to do a little educating. The three of them  were really nice. It was Children’s Hospital in Washington, DC. This is the cream of the crop.  I asked them if they knew what a neurotoxin was. They did not. My sister was apologizing for my neurosis (~ that’s shaming).  I explained that it was something that was toxic to the neurons and the nervous system and named a few things , like air freshener.

 

Now and then , I risk the shame I know I will get, in order to educate a few people. I never wrote too much about the chemical companies or mentioned any names becasue, for many years now, people exposing this kind of thing will be stopped. Obviously, these companies don’t care who they hurt. So I always said as little as possible in the end. In order to get a General Practioner (a regular doctor) I had to never say I had Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. I had some of the hippest, young and old doctors tell me that they could not be my doctor. {That is why I am here, helping you}.  

 

I believe that in order to recover from MCS it’s important to not stress or be angry for long at this type of thing. This kind of stress is so very toxic to the body. I had to become a super-human. In order to get well, I had to become a person who is not afraid to say something even though I know I will be shamed and insulted.  MCS gave me the courage to protect myself and my health and not care what people think. One day I realized “its either me or them, and I chose me”.

 

      This realization came with a  situation where a ‘hippy =nice peace loving person”was burning incense.  I had asked him to put it out and explained why. He said “you are crazy”. So I promptly went over an put water on the guys incense and said “what do you think now?’. That was the only time I ever did something like that. I realized that if I ever wanted to go out, I would have to learn how to say what I needed even if I was going to be shamed.

 

      Sadly, in the end I just stopped all of my activities and stayed home for a year or 2. In my particular case of MCS, which was really exacerbated by stress, I had to make peace with the chemical companies in order to get well. I also had to make peace with people who did not care about me, my health, the health of the planet, animals, babies etc. I could not get well if I focused in the intensity of the injustice. I realize now, that they are just conditioned by the industry that is making them sick. If they would stop to listen to the information, they could prevent cancer, depression, infertility, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, fatigue, brain fog and the ills effecting EVERYONE!

 

I had to learn to love everyone as much as I can, they really do not know what they are doing. I just had to survive and that required being happy, which required not focusing on this kind of negativity. In my website and social media, I am as positively focused as possible. Its survival. When I was ill, I had to ask people if they could make accommodations so I would not get sick. I had to love myself that much. I am all I have and my health was/is my most important possession.  

 

    In order to get well, I had to not be afraid of toxins, people and life. I had to get my mind and emotions so strong that I could do this. It’s a very big challenge to deal with this. Many people with MCS commit suicide or despair completely. I empathize with them. MCS is a totally nightmarish illness. I am sure you know that if you have bothered to read this far!

 

   We can recover and in the process learn the most beautiful life lessons that make us into incredibly strong and healthy people. I have been shamed, insulted, excluded and more. You are not alone. We can get through this!

 

We can benefit by learning to clear our emotions when something upsets us. I made a video about it, I will upload soon! I have become an expert in so many things and become an energy healer, medicine woman and more. All thanks to MCS. I have not written that much in the past few years, because I have been out living life, instead of Googling about health, sleeping, being ill, doing saunas and coffee enemas.

 

I do consulting, private yoga & meditation classes on Skype.

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